How to write a great first message on a dating site

There’s more to it than you think

According to Nielsen , activity on both OkCupid and Tinder peaks at 9 pm, and usage starts to rapidly decline after 10 pm. On Bumble, the real action starts a little earlier, with activity peaking at 6 pm. And if you happen to find yourself stuck inside due to inclement weather like a blizzard, hurricane or rainstorm, put these first message examples to good use.

NBC News did a little investigating, and found that bad weather goes hand in hand with increased activity on dating sites and apps. In many cases, the increase was pretty dramatic. Send her a light-hearted follow up message like this one:. The more messages you send, the more desperate you look.

1. Make sure your profile is complete before you message anyone

Women are too smart to fall for them. Not only do copy and paste messages work , but we get incredible results for our clients with them.

Other industry experts recognize the wisdom of the copy and paste method as well. And even if a woman calls you out on sending a template message, so what? And many intelligent women recognize the wisdom of using them, like this one who weighed in on a Quora forum discussion:. Nothing kills your online dating game quicker than being dull. You have to keep her attention every step of the way, and build attraction with every message. You can skip all that stress, and go straight to the dates.

Dating - AskMen

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6 Dos and Don’ts When Writing the First Online Dating Message

Simply by paying attention to specifics, you can make observant comments that will flatter and impress the reader. Talk about what caught your eye, picking out a common interest or funny remark. Instead of offering a line about how cute or sexy someone is, say something more memorable. This is your chance to stand out from the crowd by expressing yourself the way only you can.

Asking a question is the best way to get someone to respond to you.


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So inquire about a favorite hobby, a mentioned career, if they like beer, or anything really. Just get the ball rolling.

Dating Tips

No one wants to be interrogated by their inbox. We live in a world with spell check! For the first message, keep it crisp, clean, and correct. When it comes to online dating, concise is the new sexy. When online, it can be tempting to exaggerate, to don a mask and present yourself as someone other than who you are.

3 Risk-Free Messages to Make the First Move Online

Being genuine is much better than seeming perfect.