Perks of dating a banker

One says, but you're not even a real trader.

And then the other has to defend himself. We may be together and then he's emailing India to get their guy there to finish something by 9am. Sometimes he'll call the guy at home, in India, and make him go into the office. That's the pressure again. Some time ago I got a call and he said: But he could stay.

Day in the Life of a Corporate Banker - J.P. Morgan

I can do that. He'll be telling me that he spends at least half his time formatting documents; measuring the space between lines to make sure everything looks perfect. Presentation is so important in banking, apparently. He has this colleague who cries all the time. She can't take the pressure.

Apparently one managing director only wants to work with her, because of a particular skill she has. She'll be crying in the toilet and he'll cover for her, make up excuses why she isn't at her desk. The thing is, I can't talk to my parents because they don't know he exists. My friends wouldn't understand, they are totally appalled when I tell them about his hours and what it means for us. I must find out what I actually feel. I don't know what I feel anymore. What's okay in a relationship, what isn't?

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How to find love when you work in finance

Is it okay to rush through a dinner together because he has to go back into the office? When he doesn't call me, in the past I'd think: I'll have a go at him. Now I am making excuses why he didn't. I feel I can't even shout at him anymore, can't tell him off. Because he has such a heavy job. In the old days when we fought it would last for hours. Three hours for the fight and then two hours silent treatment to get the point across.

I don't do this anymore because there's no time. These days I often forget before I have a chance. Same if I hear something amusing or interesting. I try to save it up for him but we go for such a long time without seeing each other, it slips away. I would send him links but he these days doesn't have time to look at them anyway. YouTube is blocked in his office. I travel an hour there and back on the tube just to see him, for maybe one hour.

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It's always me begging to see him: During Christmas he had four days off and he couldn't even give me one. At the same I have made these new friends over the past few months, and I can't even introduce them to him. They must think I have an imaginary boyfriend. I would like to introduce him to my sister.

But he's never available before 11pm and by that time my sister is asleep. We laughed it off. I saw him a couple of weeks ago and he said: I was so surprised.

COMMENT: I'm dating an investment banker and I need some advice | eFinancialCareers

But when I asked him what he wanted to do instead and how he saw his future, he told me he wasn't completely sure but that he would have to slog it out as an analyst for a few years. After that he could practically go into anything. Topics Financial sector The Joris Luyendijk banking blog. Order by newest oldest recommendations.

I respected his work ethic, intelligence, and perspective on things. As interview season was winding down in January, I noticed he was trying to make that transition from 'hooking up' to 'seriously dating', I tread cautiously because my career is practically up in the air until Match day and part of me kept thinking no way I am the 'wall street type' I know very petty. Match day comes and in an ironic twist of fate, I match into my 3rd choice and only program on my rank list in NYC haha this match season was tough. He finds out I am staying in the city for training and definitely stepped up his game since.

I sincerely enjoy his company; I would love to date him, but I am worried given how we both will have fucked up hours in high-stress working environments, etc. However, I've always been a risk taker and definitely want to go forward with this relationship. Has anyone been in a similar relationship and made it work? Any tips or advice? Challenges that were hard to work through? I'd like to hear opinions from the banking perspective. A Date a guy you for sure like, maybe it works, maybe not, you won't see each other much, but you can save a lot on COL and you have someone to relieve stress with and spend the little time you do have together with B Spend time and energy going on tinder and shit, and even if not, dating random guys you run into.

Seems like the inferior option when you're already busy. Tinder was basically a part-time job for me pre-marriage. C Get a nice vibrator and abandon men for the time being. This will be very bad for your psyche.. Also, honey, do you want kids? Do you want healthy kids? Do you want healthy kids who you actually see grow up as a healthy adult? You picking up what I'm putting down? While this is a true statement, I would urge you not to weight this aspect too heavily. I'm a banker dating a resident currently, I know how strenuous her life is right now and we barely get to see each other.

Seeing you are doing surgery, you're going to be spending some time studying and working long hours at times.

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It's definitely doable if he is willing to wait another years to have a real life. Unless you switch out. How can I tell where I stand? If she becomes quiet and distant, am I supposed to just take it?

A Day In The Life Of Dating An Investment Banking Analyst

How do I know whether she's having a crazy week, or just withdrawing? How much of this is her and how much is her job? I'd appreciate it if you could leave your advice as comments at the bottom of this article. Bear with us if you leave a comment at the bottom of this article: Sometimes these humans might be asleep, or away from their desks, so it may take a while for your comment to appear. Get the latest career advice and insight from eFinancialCareers straight to your inbox. Please click the verification link in your email to activate your newsletter subscription.

Click here to manage your subscriptions. I'm dating an investment banker and I need some advice by Lawrence Dale 19 November


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