But then she may feel that I have broken her trust. This is the second boyfriend she has had. I am worried about her innocence and her purity.
Coptic Views on Dating - cymozobatuqo.cf Community
What can I do? Does engagement serve as dating? During Sunday school lesson, the topic on dating has generated a lot of surprisingly negative feedback from one of the girls in high school; revealing her attitude towards dating, and how opposing she is to the Church teachings regarding this subject. She could possibly be already hanging out with a boyfriend. Talking to the parents is futile because they would immediately defend their kids claiming that they know everything about them. How am I expected to get married if dating is wrong? How do our religion and our fathers regard dating?
This can be impractical, particularly if the person is advanced in their years. It is true that couples do end up separating or divorcing in Australia and that the divorce rate remains low in the Coptic community.
Coptic Views on Dating
But given the stigma associated with divorce among the Coptic community and the biblical prohibition on divorce except in certain prescribed instances, it is difficult to ascertain what marriages continue because it is based on two people who really love and respect each other and what marriages continue because of considerations such as reputation and convenience. A shift in attitudes may be needed in order to facilitate interactions between people that evolve in long-term fruitful relationships.
It is incongruous to view an engagement as signifying a period where people are getting to know each other when in Australia it signifies that the people are ready to marry. Yet there are people in the Coptic community who have gone through multiple engagements.
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And people are more likely to engage in the behaviour that is contrary to the faith if they keep their relationship secret. There may be aspects of Western culture that conflict with traditional Egyptian culture, but this is a corollary of moving into a Western nation and it is important that we learn to adapt, so long as the fundamental tenets of the faith are not compromised.
Print and complete this form: Mail will not be published required. Promoting Justice, Culture and Unity. Home Who are the Copts? Subscribe Subscribe to our Newsletter Name. Help us defend the rights of our brothers and sisters in Egypt. Cultural conflicts in courting: Filed under Featured Post , News and Articles.
Leave a Reply Click here to cancel reply. Aus Coptic Movement auscma. So where does that leave those Copts who straddle the Atlantic threshold? Do they date the American way or abstain the Egyptian way? We Diaspora Copts who were born in America or moved here at a younger age know three sure-fire ways to give our parents a conniption by becoming consensual partners-in-crime to some of the major cultural taboos within the underground dating scene.
Parents and Church elders look at this interreligious coupling as if a Holocaust survivor started dating a Nazi solider. It is completely unacceptable not only because of the major religious differences, but also because of the clashes between the two in the motherland. Many who are in these types of relationships give the excuse that their Muslim counterpart could always convert, since the Church only recognizes marriages between two Coptic Orthodox believers. With that in mind, is it really worth it the secrets and the fighting? Dating an African-American has been the cause of fights between all Coptic girls and their parents.
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But have no fear, my dear girls: But like I said, I already knew all of that. And the fact of the matter is, when we are ready to get married, most of us combine the American and Egyptian way. However, one of the hot button issues is dating in high school.
Having the title can bring on complications. Dating [in high school] is frivolous and hazardous. It is like a drug. They have no problem with me commenting that XYZ is hot, but that's as far as it goes. It is a chance for two individuals to learn to grow independently, but also with one another to find if a long-term relationship is possible. I do not believe that dating should be simply casual though it should be enjoyable ; I believe that dating should be with the intent to find someone compatible for you, and someone from God that will walk with you lovingly, emotionally, and spiritually for the rest of your life.
There needs to be an aspect of vulnerability in the relationship, but boundaries are necessary. Very few have admitted to a moderate belief in the positives and negatives of dating in high school; however, they have personally chosen to abstain from dating until they are older. Those who have decided to date had their first date when they were about sixteen or seventeen. One person admitted to having his when he was twelve while the other waited until she was nineteen.
And of course, every individual draws a line at what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior. Less than one percent of those who were polled admitted to having been sexually active. A couple individuals discussed how everything except oral sex and sexual intercourse were fine, while you are in a relationship. Others drew the line at several different places: But the making out and PDA and just nastiness pisses me off. Just a little kiss and holding hands are not that bad.
Everything is permissible for me—but I will not be mastered by anything. For me and my boyfriend, we have decided that holding hands is appropriate and light kissing, but avoiding making out.
His Holiness Pope Shenouda III
We decided this because these are the ways we wanted to show affection, without causing each other to stumble. Although we have set boundaries, we have found that it is absolutely essential to continue defining our boundaries based on the changes we go through as a couple, and redefining places where we have made mistakes, etc. Although the lines of propriety and views on dating may vary, they all have one thing in common: If they find out, there will be hell to pay.
A view that was also expressed included how their high school servants and elders treat them in their dealings with the opposite sex. Anonymity will be used for this section of quotes. Even talking to a boy makes them suspicious. The fact that guys and girls get yelled at if they hug each other. Maybe the best we can do is give them our opinion and let them learn through experience if dating in high school is really worth it.
The best way to sum up the difference between beliefs and actions of the Second-Generation, Diaspora Copts is through a quote by seventeen year old Mariam. And if you ask me why I would date again, I think my answer would be that I can't help it. Posted by Natalie at Whalen December 8, at Anonymous December 9, at Movie Guy December 9, at 2: Natalie December 9, at 5: Anonymous December 10, at 4: Carla December 11, at 9: